Please Netflix the following...
1.) Night of the Comet... Two valley girls, machine guns, and a fashion scene in an abandoned mall. I have said enough.
Quote: "Daddy would have gotten us an uzi."
2.) Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail... Yes, my dream is to be black and from the South but this movie is honestly one of the funniest and most heart warming movies ever. As someone who has seen every Tyler Perry film out there, I must say... There is nothing like a Tyler Perry film, a delicious dark chocolate man, and a story about staying true to your vows to strengthen your faith in God, Southern hospitality, and beating a bitch who got you wrong.
Quote: "If someone is trying to get me got, I get my glock."
3.) Pink Flamingos... John Waters is brilliant, we know that. But this movie has honestly influenced my life more than I can say. The filth that pours of my mouth can be attributed to Divine and I wish - oh how I wish - we can watch this gem together, my lovely Emilee.
Quote: "God Almighty! Someone has sent me a bowel movement!"
4.) Under a Tuscan Sun... Anyone who knows me knows that my favorite, all time film is... Under a Tuscan Sun... Let me tell you why. As someone - anyone - who has ever felt unsatisfied, unfilled, hungry, bored, out of breathe, needs to watch this film. Emilee... If I had balls like Frances, I would take you - my formerly dyke bff - and move to an Italian villa that needs renovating. I would.
Quote: "Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid."
5.) Savage Grace... Incest. Our favorite topic. Done.
6.) Diary of a Mad Black Woman... This is the second Tyler Perry film on my list. Let's just say if he were to write a movie about me it would be "Diary of a Mad Filipino Gay" and let me tell you, there won't be any finding Jesus in that. Just a lot of BUSTED CAR WINDOWS IN THAT SHIT.
Quote: "I'm not bitter, I'm mad as hell."
7.) Pierrot le fou... I have a penchant for French films and I'd like to hold your hand while we watched this.
Quote: "I look sad because you speak to me in words and I look at you with feelings."
8.) Grey Gardens... Because if we still lived together, we'd be living amidst glamour and gore. Period. Minus the Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange portrayals...
Quote: It was mostly visual...
9.) Something New... We all know I'm a race traitor and this movie is my best rationalization as to why it is is okay.
Quote: "But I ain't never dated a white man before. Not that I'm not attracted to white men. Oh, cause there's some fine looking white men in here. But my only problem with the white man is that ya'll don't know how to break up with a woman. I watch the crime channel. You date him, you come up missin', don't cha? Everybody be looking for you. You be chopped up in the freezer in the sandwich bags, with a barbeque sign on your head."
10.) In Her Shoes... I'm gay.
Quote: "Clothes never fit... Food makes me fatter... Shoes, they always fit."
Em - What I wouldn't do to sit on your couch and watch a movie in the dark with our laptops on our laps, a forty in each hand, and something vulgar to say to one another.
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